And it starts with knowing who you are and what you actually want for yourself and your life. Because when you know who you are and what you actually want - you can show up authentically. And by showing up authentically you make yourself available for the things that are truly aligned with your needs and desires.
My own biggest shift came when I realized I wasn’t really living my life in a way that was true to ME. It was true to the people around me - very well meaning people - who wanted it to be true for me also.
The fact is, I was living my life based on other people’s expectations and in a way that was designed to please THEM - not me.
And throughout that time the real me was slowly suffocating underneath all the habits and behaviors I had taken on in order to get the approval, validation and acceptance I thought I needed to be “happy”. Ironically, the more I did to feel “happy”, the more depressed I actually became.
It wasn’t until I finally decided to just let all that sh*t go and stop trying to be such a “good girl” who felt the need to keep everyone around her happy at the expense of her own happiness that the happiness I had been searching for finally appeared. And it looked nothing like I had imagined or sought after for so long. And thank goodness for that. Because happiness can be fleeting. Kind of like a one night stand - it may be fun at the time but the next day your love life is no different than it was before.
What I found waiting for me was SO much more. It was joy, radical self acceptance…and even more radical self love. And through that magical trifecta I also found the freedom to be the person I wanted to be and in fact, had been all along.
No more denying her, ignoring her or pretending she didn’t exist.
But in order to get there, I had to rethink (and release) the person I had been up until that point, and reinvent myself into the person I wanted to be instead.
I had to set myself free from the “good girl” trap and start my very own #goodgirlrevolution. 🦋
This meant completely shifting some of my existing thoughts and beliefs and taking on a more empowering and authentic way to think and live my life. I’m not going to pretend it was easy or that the shift happened overnight.
Quite the opposite. It took time and there was definitely some struggle..and not to mention a boatload of rejection and judgment for others.
But at the end - I was grateful that I kept going even when I wanted to stop and that I kept believing in the journey and trusting the process even on the days it felt hopeless.
Below are some of the “new” thoughts I had to take on at the beginning of my journey to make the shift. They’ve served me immensely over the past decade and my hope is that they’ll do the same for you! I would love to know which one lands with you most - so feel free to reply to this email and let me know! ;)
It’s safe to be myself - in fact, being authentic will help me create more meaning, joy and fulfillment in my life by aligning my life with my OWN values and beliefs, not what others expect of me. 🌈
Assertiveness is NOT a bad word and expressing my opinions with respect, even if they're different from others, is a step towards empowerment. 💪
Perfection is an illusion. It's okay to stumble and make mistakes - that's part of the human experience. Embracing imperfection is liberating.
I'm learning to draw boundaries. Protecting my time, energy, and emotions is not selfish; it's necessary. It's okay to say no. 🚫
I'm beginning to dust off my shelved dreams. Life is too short not to pursue what sets my soul on fire. 🔥
Self-care is no longer an afterthought. I deserve to prioritize my mental, emotional, and physical health. I can't pour from an empty cup. 🍵
Not all conflict is harmful. Navigating disagreements can lead to growth and understanding. It's time to face it with courage. 🦁
My achievements are worth celebrating. It's not boastful to acknowledge my successes - it's acknowledging the journey that led me there. 🏅
I'm valuable, I'm capable, and I'm enough. I'm starting to believe in my worth, and you should too. 💎
This journey isn't easy, but it's worth it. Let's be gentle with ourselves, celebrate small victories, and remember - we're in this together. 💖
As always,
Afsheen
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